Moments That Matter Most

Yesterday, after I sent the boys off to church I cuddled up with Mac to watch a few of the Mormon messages. I love those videos!! I don't think I've ever watched one that didn't make me cry. This one in particular really hit me. I took away a slightly different message than what it's saying so let me tell ya what I got out of it.

This past year I felt like I was living in survival mode.. especially the last 5 months. Rob was non-existent in our house and so it was up to me to take care of everything. There was never enough time in the day, week, or month to get everything done that I decided "had" to be done. I was constantly frustrated that my to-do list seemed to grow instead of get smaller, that everything took twice as long with a big belly and a little helper, and that the minute my house was clean, my 3 year old tornado (and sometimes my 30 year old one) would make it completely messy again.

When I thought that things couldn't possibly get worse, something else would be thrown our way... like Rob getting hit in a 5 car pile-up and getting injured and totaling our car 2 weeks before my due date and finals. I found myself throwing my hands up saying, "Are you kidding me?" instead of rolling with the punches and maybe laughing some of the little things off. I spent most of what little energy a 9 month preggo has stressing and worrying.

And then Mac came. The first 2 weeks were great! We thought for sure we had a great baby on our hands. It was truly an answer to our prayers. And then the fun started.. Around week 2 Mac discovered his voice :) He spends most of his day screaming whether you are holding him or not. Boston flashbacks? YES! Breastfeeding is finally starting to get easier for him but it took 6 weeks for him to figure out the breathing/swallowing rhythm which resulted in tons of swallowed air. He's allergic to dairy.. just like his big brother.. which has made for a very uncomfortable and sad little guy. I've gone off dairy but it hasn't fully left our systems yet. Thanks goodness for Rob being home this past month or I don't know what I would have done. We took turns holding/comforting Mac while the other took care of Boston.. and then we would switch. I feel bad that Rob's break has not been a break at all.

I've been really worried wondering how I am going to stay on top of everything when Rob goes back to school. I feel like I've barely been keeping my head above water the last 5 months and now I have an extra kid that has to be constantly held. That's why this video hit me.. it reminded me that all of the things that I've told myself "need" to get done really don't matter much. If I spend all my time being frantic trying to do it all and worrying about what needs done next I'll miss out on the tiny moments of the present.

My baby is already 6 weeks old and my big baby is already 3. Before I know it they'll be gone. I need to really enjoy the time I spend reading and playing with them instead of spending it thinking about all of the things I have to do when they go to bed. I need to enjoy the fact that Mac won't let me put him down because one day he'll be a teenager that won't want his Mom around cuz she's not cool. I need to cherish these fleeting moments and leave the to-do list for another day, let the house stay messy, the laundry stay stinky, and when Boston drops his spaghetti on the floor.. I need to have a big laugh with him instead of throwing my hands up and saying, "This is gonna take forever to clean up!" I think if I can do this, we'll all be a little happier :)